7 Years and Counting

For A Mind Divided’s seventh birthday, I thought I’d look up my very first post.  Hmm…somehow this seems so familiar…

Insanity, Creativity and Living in the Now


When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I thought my life had ended.  And in a very real sense, it did.  Parts of my life fell off like flesh off a zombie–my home, my job, my friends, my ability to support myself, my ability to live independently.  In the months and years that followed, the lessons of living in the NOW and letting go of attachments kept repeating.  Living with bipolar disorder (BP) was like living in a constant fire.  It burned away everything I thought I knew about myself and how the world works.  But with fire comes new growth that could never happen otherwise.  I’m finding that to be true in my life as well.

While I always considered myself a writer, I also became an artist because of BP.  I needed a way to express the chaos I felt and the wild shifts from despair to joy and back again.  My study of the world’s religions deepened.  I explored the science and metaphysics of the brain.  I also fell in love with “Criminal Minds” and “Fringe.”

I invite you to journey with me into the overlapping realms of mental illness, creativity and spirituality.  There will be fire and ice, but also miracles.

Of that I’m certain.

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My National Holiday

IMG_0840Is it really that time of year again?  Seems like I just celebrated my favorite holiday.  Oh, that’s right—I only rearranged my Pretend Boyfriend Gallery after painting my bedroom so that every day can be Richard Armitage Day.

I can be a tad less stalk-y today and just wish him a happy birthday.

Hopefully, the 2016 Armitage Drought is near an end.  No sightings since his creepy portrayal of The Red Dragon in “Hannibal.”  Lots of projects are finished, but either in post-production or on some shelf in Wonderland.

Or, like Urban and the Shed Crew, released everywhere but here.

Shed Crew

florenceIf we pay money to hear Meryl Streep sing badly, wouldn’t American audiences be captivated by a former social worker who takes street kids under his wing?  All that hope and feel-goodness?  Maybe Richard should have sung badly in that one.

Then, there’s Berlin Station, a 10 episode CIA series due this fall on EPIX.  EPIX.  What the flugelhorn is EPIX?  But look at all the great people in this series!  I will be breaking into someone’s house who has cable.  Scouting possibilities now.

fotos Berlin Station

Someday I’ll see him play Chloe Moretz’s dad in Brain on Fire, about a young woman slipping into insanity.  Hmm.  Richard.  Crazy girl.  Sounds familiar.

Brain on Fire

And if there is any mercy or compassion in the Universe, I’ll get to watch him don armor and take off on another noble quest.

Pilgrimage

But until I can sit in the dark with him again, all I can do is wait, surround myself with his former glories, and remember London.

Crucible cast

Richard 2016And I can wish him well — which I do.  It’s the one part of our relationship that’s not pretend.

 

Happy Birthday, Pisces

Pisces Drifting

pisces

Goodness, I’m late with this felicitation!  I have good reasons, which I will share soon.  For now, may all the little fishies out there swim in their dreams for another year.

Five Years Old

A Mind Divided is five today.

5th birthday chris

5 • 5 • 5

 

5th birthday nathanTo celebrate, I went through every post (946) to make sure the video links still worked and to find lost pictures.  You know WordPress—stuff gets lost.  And videos that were perfectly fine suddenly become “private” (As if you can stuff that genie back in the bottle).

5th birthday benedictNothing cheeses me off quite so much as faulty technology (or bad grammar, but that’s a different post).  When I come across a link that doesn’t work, or that little blue square ? instead of a picture, I’m sure I’m missing out on something fabulous and now–sadly—lost to me forever.  The mystery of it, the tease, makes my compulsive nature sing a sweary song.

Christian Bale at the Sundance Film Festival, 2000 *** NO TABLOIDS ***

So, in order to be a polite blog host, and to spare any unnecessary Sweary Songs, I tried to fill in any blanks left by You Tube and WordPress (Because everyone will be checking that 2/24/11 Star Trek fan-vid).

And this made me a little cranky, but also amazed at the 946 posts.  In the beginning, I posted a lot.  I think most new bloggers do.  The rush of words going public and the urgency behind telling one’s story dazzles us.  When I didn’t have something personal to share, I posted poetry, my art, anything that felt meaningful or part of me.  That first year I averaged 25.5 posts per month.  This past year, my average was 7.5.

5th birthday hiddlesSome folks burn out.  Some run out of words.  The blog runs its course or loses the meaning it once held.  Some folks just get busy or move on to something that provides more meaning.

I’ve found I don’t need to say anything until I have something to say.  Being a “specialty” blog gives me the freedom to not mess about with the statistics page.  I don’t worry about losing readers or what I need to do to tart up my site to attract more.  I’ve never been Freshly Pressed (it’s called something else now…) and never will be.

5th birthday avengersI get to do what I love here—take my bipolar disorder apart and find any silver linings that hide under the gore.  I get to share my art and my fan fiction.  I get to belong to a loving, funny community that continues to blow my socks off with their comments and kindness.  I get to gush about movies, and books, and pretend boyfriends.  I get to be vulnerable, and freaky, and completely me.

5th birthday RichardI love this blog.  I love its therapeutic power.  I love the friends I’ve made through it.  And I love writing it.  I love that new readers still find their way here and that, once in a while, they stick around.

Frosting on my bloggy birthday cake.

Happy Birthday, Aquarians

Aquarius Opinions

Image

And Then There’s This

Once Rot Begins to Work

It’s my birthday.

yaay.

To My Big Brother, With Gore

Scott's Birthday

 

I know my brother doesn’t read this blog, but I’m sending him birthday salutations anyway.  Nine years my senior, Scott twigged me onto the joys of comic books, science fiction, and Stephen King.  He’s the reason I watched the original Star Trek faithfully as a fifth grader (He’s also the reason I had to sleep with my light on for many years).  I wouldn’t be the geek I am today if it weren’t for my equally-geeky brother.

Live Long and May the Force be With You, Bro.

Happy Birthday, Aries

Aries 2, homemade greeting card, collage art, zodiac

Ω

To my extraordinarily exciting Aries friends—  May your spirited sense of adventure charm your way through every door.

You Say It’s Your Birthday

Goodness, I almost missed it.  If WordPress hadn’t reminded me that I started this thingamajiggy two years ago, my blog’s birthday would have gone uncelebrated.  So… Woo! Hoo!

Birthday Cards for the Enthusiasm-Challenged

Inspired by my recent natal event, I listed a few new birthday cards at my Etsy shop.  Finally, a proper salutation for the celebration-impaired.

hand made cards, collage arthand made cards, collage art

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