Sandy Sue

Productive with Phlegm

10 Feb 2019 11 Comments

by Sandy Sue in art, bipolar disorder, cats, health, mixed-media art, quality of life Tags: bronchitis

After a long and noble battle, my immune system took to her fainting couch, and bronchitis cackled its phlegmy victory. I’m actually delighted to have gone almost ten months without lung crud. Setting up the sickroom and soup kitchen was second nature. Plus, my sister ran for juice and other essentials in the early days, so that was a new comfort and indulgence. Thanks, Sissy.

I’ve been in a card-making mood for several weeks, and just moved everything into bed with me. Counting up this morning, I’ve made 62 cards and little Penny Positive collages in the past two weeks. They just flow—a positive role model for all my bodily Humours.

As my Etsy shop fattens, Emmett and I relax with some series or other on the TV, the bed full of paper and ribbons. A mug of Gypsy Cold Care tea steams on one bedside table, snips and tweezers sit on the other. Yes, there is coughing and dizziness, and Emmett’s weight loss, but we are companionable and warm and here.

In fact, I hear my bed calling. A new batch of cards longs to be created with the awful first season of Star Trek: Next Gen on Netflix to keep us company. Think how many we can make by the time we get to the seventh season series ender!

8 Years

06 Feb 2019 6 Comments

by Sandy Sue in art, bipolar disorder, blogging, mental health, mental illness, mixed-media art Tags: anniversary, Firefly, Nathan Fillion

… and to you.

Thank you for flying the ‘Verse with me for some fraction of those eight years.

Thank you for your kind words and support.

We are still on an Adventure.

Temba, His Arms Wide*

01 Feb 2019 13 Comments

by Sandy Sue in bipolar disorder, creativity, depression, distorted thinking, gratitude, mental health, mental illness, video Tags: gifts, gratitude, Star Trek

After a few days of sneaky depression, the kind of depression that makes it sensible to lie to my therapist about why I cancelled my appointment, I shoved myself out the door with my art supplies.

There’s always a point in The Black when It starts to thin, when a crack seems possible. If I push too soon, The Black swallows me with doubt, failure, hopelessness. I’ve learned to wait, to leave the insanity of my thoughts alone. In The Black, waiting feels like giving up. It’s not. It’s just waiting.

At the coffee shop, I felt the crack. Like a door ajar in the night, a thin line of light cut across my dark floor. With that crack of light came a flood of gifts. Real ones.

My friend, Sue, sent me one of her Care Packages full of Entertainment Weeklys, refrigerator magnets, a CD of her favorite show tunes and the most thoughtful piece of jewelry I’ve ever owned. She had a necklace made from a picture of Henry. It looks just like him.

Another friend texted to say that since I’ve always supported his music, he’s sending me an early (and secret, shhhh) CD of the songs he’s recorded so far in the studio. I know he could be bigger than Billy Joel.

My landlord texted to say she sent my worries about the strong mold smell in my sitting room to Management. They asked her and her husband/maintenance man to come check it out today. I’m so relieved. Visions of black mold have been dancing in my dreams.

An artist/teacher I met at The Muskogee Art Guild emailed me to say the drawing class I so dearly wanted to take and couldn’t afford would be covered by a scholarship. And my friend, Sally, confirmed the date of her birthday party back in Iowa, so I can take a trip back home and take the class.

There are other gifts, but these blinded me. Light does that when a person has been sitting in the Dark

I’m mindful of standing open-armed instead of denying or shaking off these gifts, receiving and being warmed.

I am full of color today.

•

*Caution: Star Trek reference. The following YouTube bit doesn’t relate at all to this post, but I love this guy’s take on said ST:TNG reference.

Optimistic Wednesday

30 Jan 2019 3 Comments

by Sandy Sue in art, mixed-media art Tags: Optimistic Wednesdays, Penny Positives

I’ve developed a little routine for Wednesdays…usually. I swim at the fitness center, drive to Tahlequah (about 40 minutes away), and make art at the Drip Coffee Lab until my therapist appointment. Today, I’m barely dragging and already cancelled with my therapist. Such is the bipolar life.

Anyhoo, I thought I’d add to the routine by making Wednesdays my day to post a new Penny Positive. At least I can do that much today.

Moments of a Quiet Life

27 Jan 2019 5 Comments

by Sandy Sue in bipolar disorder, creativity, gratitude, health, mental health, mental illness, mixed-media art, quality of life, relationships Tags: hand-made cards, quiet

The Monotony and Solitude of a Quiet Life Stimulates the Creative Mind. — Albert Einstein

It’s been quiet inside and outside for a bit. That’s always a gift.

In the space, I’ve been making a lot of cards. I was called to make a sympathy card for my cousin’s son whose family just lost their dog. It touched me so that I made more for my Etsy shop. The words came from all the support and kindness given to me when Henry passed—especially from my friend Sue, who lost her cat, Lucky, last year. She showed me the path I would be taking with my grief, and I wanted others to benefit. I love this photo anyway, so I doubly love this card.

I started getting a drippy nose on Friday and thought a head cold was imminent, so I dragged my supplies into bed with me. Of all the stuff I’ve done in bed (art-wise!), I’ve never made cards. I keep so much STUFF to choose from, I thought it would be impossible. But, it was good for me to get up and choose ribbon while pouring more grapefruit juice, wheel my paper box into the bedroom while soup irradiated in the microwave. I made a dozen cards yesterday while flipping through one bad Netflix show after another. And after a little fever spike and loading up on zinc, my cold seems to be gone.

I think this is An Oklahoma Gift. In one of the shows I watched yesterday, someone said you either love the place you live or you don’t. People who grow to love a place have just learned to ignore the things they still hate.

Is that a bad thing? Does appreciation for the place where you’re planted have to be pure to be real?

In this quiet space, I can feel my gratitude for nine months without lung crud and the mild winter weather. In the quiet, I can be thankful for lost cousins and reconnection. I can use my hands and my stuff in different ways to touch others’ lives.

I’m on a Quiet Adventure.

Art Nesting

13 Jan 2019 5 Comments

by Sandy Sue in art, bipolar disorder, creativity, mental health, mental illness, quality of life

I’ve left several art housekeeping projects hanging for months and months, projects that take time and attention, projects that get tedious after a while. But there’s something in my bipolar wind that wanted to tidy up and get ready for what’s next.

The first goal was to update my card caption list. After I glean a goodly amount of captions for my cards from old magazines and books, I add them to my Gleans List on the computer and file the cut-out snips in my homemade Glean Rolodex.

A few years ago, I started adding little legends to the list to note which captions might be appropriate for birthdays, sympathy, and especially my zodiac cards. When I need to make a Pisces card, it’s so much handier to flip through the list and look for the little legend instead of pulling out all my notes about Pisces and finding something that will match.

Either way, it’s time-intensive, and I’d given up on making the legends. So for the past several months, I’ve taken my astrology notes and marked up a page or two from my list. I finally finished last week and printed out a new, 38-page list. Oh, that felt good.

My other housekeeping task is still in progress, but I can finally see a light at the end of this tunnel.

Along with captions, I also keep a file of gleaned letters of the alphabet. I love to use miss-matched lettering in my journal. It would be simpler and faster to just hand-letter captions and titles, but I love the psycho-killer look. Go figure.

I recently cut apart three books on art journaling and harvested a ton of funky lettering. Like captions, this is an ongoing project, but with so much to “process,” I knew I needed to devote some serious time to getting my letters organized.

Letters, especially the teeny ones, jump like fleas. I know I’ll find them under the bed, under Emmett, and in my coffee no matter how careful I am. I need lots of light and my best glasses to snip the letters apart. Then, I sort them into four different sizes (which gets pretty random sometimes, especially if I’ve been at it a while). Eventually, I have a dedicated bag in my traveling art studio of letters I can pull out and use quickly.

My last act of preparedness is something new. Whenever I make zodiac cards, I make just enough background paper for the task at hand. It’s another time-intensive creative process that I love, and I like making each batch a little unique. But since my zodiac cards continue to be popular in my Etsy shop, I thought I’d try making more than I need and have some extra on hand. I’ve made the papers for the Air, Water and Earth signs. I’ll finish up with Fire today.

I’m not sure what all this tidying is about. With the holidays behind me and over a month since Henry passed, maybe there’s room in my emotional carpet bag for other things. Winter feels spacious here. Knots and clots seem to be loosening. Whatever it is, I’m thankful for it. A Good Spell in Bipolarland is always a treasure. And a little nesting always welcomes the next Adventure.