Team Thanos

I was always Team Thanos when the Avengers movies came out. Honestly, the guy was misunderstood. Cut the population in half with no suffering. Cut across all political, social, and income levels. Bring the Earth (and every planet) back into balance. Covid is trying, but it’s not nearly as fair.

Tighter restrictions are back in place since the rise of active cases. I know a lot of people who refuse to get vaccinated, and others who think being vaccinated is the only precaution they need to take. Here in beef country, ranchers are dosing themselves with cattle dewormer instead of getting a shot. I think we deserve a visit from Thanos.

Today, I’d be happy to provide one of his vacancies. After a spell of soul-crushing depression, I got up this morning determined to Do The Work of managing my illness. I packed up my traveling art studio and headed to Starbucks… which is closed again. And it’s not like arting is a comfort anymore, though if I work really hard at it, I can find some distraction from the ugly in my head.

And from the growing sclerosis that continues to crystalize around my heart. It’s easier to feel nothing, to shut all doors, to cancel anything that brings me in contact with people.

Easier, but it also makes me feel less human.

Yeah, okay, I’m contradictory and contrary. Bite me.

Still determined, I stopped on my way home to get a healthy smoothie, pulling out the little bit of Bipolar Badass that hides in my hindbrain. I will art on my bed with Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD running in the background, and I will try to distract myself by making cards for the people I still have feelings for, even if I have to root around a while to find a soft spot in my heart.

If I can find it, I can nurture it with art. I know I can.

But if Thanos shows up for supper, I’m splitting a pizza with him.

13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wid3eyedbohemian
    Aug 13, 2021 @ 11:05:54

    I so enjoy reading your posts because you are able to articulate many of the unspoken ugly feelings inside me.

    Reply

  2. kirizar
    Aug 13, 2021 @ 12:02:16

    I have been having ‘sluggish’ days. I consider it a victory when I get up before noon and do a thing–any thing. Today it was dropping some art supplies off at a Refugee Center and getting the mail for my job. I took my son to the mall to ride his favorite elevator. He asks for “Dick’s” when he wants to go to Dick’s Sporting Goods. I forget sometimes how this may sound. I am hoping the bank teller did not here him shouting it from the back seat when we dropped off the checks for deposit.

    As to Thanos, I never quite understood his reasons for wanting to ‘halve’ the universe. That he didn’t remove all the bad/evil people probably suggests that he was ambivalent to the effect of who he eliminated. This seems somewhat short sighted, as he was a ‘bad’ man himself. If he’d wiped out all of the Avengers, his plan would have succeeded! One wonders if he actually wanted to fail?

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Aug 13, 2021 @ 20:03:39

      That’s an interesting take. He never seemed “bad” to me, just driven. Maybe the fact that he was killing people made him bad, but I don’t believe human life is so sacred compared to all the other kinds of life on earth. But that’s just me.

      Reply

  3. Writer Lori
    Aug 14, 2021 @ 05:47:15

    Always good to hear your voice, Sandy! Cheering for you to vanquish the darkness. Your art is certainly a light to me. In fact, I just sent a dear friend one of your cards the other day and it was a HUGE hit. Your gift moves outward in ripples, even if you’re not always aware of it. Xo

    Reply

  4. Catherine Cheng, MD
    Aug 14, 2021 @ 15:07:23

    Hello Sandy Sue! I’m picturing you, Thanos, and me hanging out together somewhere, talking about the Ugly in all its forms, discussing/debating how best to ‘manage’ it all. I bet it’d be an interesting, entertaining, and even fun conversation! We are better for your ideas, your art, and your writing. May the soft, light spots always find you through the dark times and places. Sending love!

    Reply

  5. MarthaS
    Aug 15, 2021 @ 12:53:20

    Remember our garden is always available for you. The back patio has a large fan and room to spread out. It’s not Starbucks but it’s open.

    Reply

  6. pegoleg
    Aug 26, 2021 @ 17:50:18

    I don’t know who this muscle-y dude is, but if he helps you, I’m all for him.

    Sounds like things are not great with you – I’m sorry to hear it. Here’s hoping things look better soon.

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Aug 26, 2021 @ 17:51:15

      Nice to hear from you, Peg!

      Reply

      • pegoleg
        Aug 26, 2021 @ 17:53:22

        Nice to see you, too! At least bloggily. If that’s a thing. I have been unplugged from all social media stuff and haven’t been writing for quite a while. Dusted off the computer and somehow managed to remember how to string a couple of sentences together, but it was rough. Very rough.

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