Called Out

A few days ago, I wrote that I’d dogpaddled out of the suicidal end of the pool. My friend, Janet, called me on that. She reminded me that I needn’t rush over the weird fluctuations of my illness, claiming Better-hood to ease other’s minds.

Yes, I do that. Yes, I did that.

After a couple of days with enough oomph to get groceries and sweep my floor, I’m back to not sleeping and sitting as close to Emmett as he will allow. Coloring will be my achievement today.

I’m too aware of how hard this quarantine is on everyone. I’m afraid spilling my shit adds to the worldwide sewer. Yes, everything is about me and I’m responsible for it all. That’s Bipolar Brain.

So, I will sit with my pretty mug from a fellow Etsy shop owner, listen to the softest of my iPod tunes, and let my coloring book structure the day.

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Catherine Cheng, MD
    Apr 20, 2020 @ 10:41:13

    Thank you, friend Janet. 🙏🏼❤️


  2. Kiki
    Apr 20, 2020 @ 12:31:35

    Emmett is in two minds about your mug! Just look at his look….. I love it –
    and hey, it’s your blog, nobody needs to read what they don’t like to read. Don’t ever talk about what your brain does as ‘adding to the sewer’…
    Take care of yourself, Sandy Sue, please do!


  3. TamrahJo
    Apr 21, 2020 @ 02:09:01

    I prefer, personally, someone who says, “um…right now rather sucks in my world’ or ‘I’m really feeling good right now, cuz…” by turns, than either of the versions of TRUE ‘all about me – always’ folks – A. “Woe is ME – Can you believe what happened – (followed by excruciating details, no follow up on the ER visit, the fender bender, etc…. until – days later, they might answer your ‘are you okay?” message/comment with ‘um, yeah – like that was soo long ago!” OR the “Everything is always perfect, here, and if it’s not for you – ya just need to adjust your attitude, be positive and have faith!” – sigh – sigh – sigh – I find normal ups and downs, hills, mountains and valleys (including Death Valley) much more intriguing and easy to take than one or the other, although, the first one is rather like some one who continually posts (Look! I went BUNGIE JUMPING OFF ANOTHER IMPOSSIBLY TALL BUILDING/BRIDGE/CLIFF – AGAIN! TODAY! JUST FOR FUN and to keep from boring myself!” LOL. – – It’s okay to cuddle/color, sit around for ‘reflection/recharge time – as long as one doesn’t get ‘lost forever in it’ – in my world, but that’s not taking into account a myriad of variables, either – 😀
    Glad you dog paddled your way out as you could, on your own time/schedule and path – 🙂


  4. Writer Lori
    Apr 21, 2020 @ 04:23:44

    Emmett does look dubious about the mug, or maybe it’s his cameo that he’s unsure of. And Janet is right…this is your story. Rest assured, none of us is living a ‘Hallmark moment’ 24/7….


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