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I was just saying to Emmett the other day, “This has been a nice, long stretch of Good Brain.  Don’t let me hang on to it too tight, okay?”  In his Emmett-ness, he zoomed past me to leap onto his cat-tree, his Safe Place.  I should have listened a little closer to his cat wisdom.

Good Brain disappeared yesterday.  An immediate sharp dive into the Black.  The definition of Rapid in rapid cycling.

Such a sudden a turn discombobulated me.  I floundered.  Nothing seemed like the right choice, right action, right counterstrike.  I wandered around my home looking for something—not exactly the fine mood that had vacated, but something to soothe the broken-glass that replaced it.

At the drug store/post office this morning, I bought this mug, then a Salty Dog latte to put in it.  Warm and textured, my fingers and hands read it like toasty braille. It murmured that the Dark Place my brain decided to go to won’t hold it forever.  It set another possibility in front of my face even when it felt impossible in my body.  I can’t stop looking at it, rubbing my thumbs over the rough, skinny letters. Joy.

Emmett is curled on the blue blanket at the base of his tree now—hidden, safe, sleeping as the rain whispers outside.  I will follow his lead today, carrying my placeholder, believing in safety and whispers of wisdom.

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Catherine Cheng, MD
    Oct 24, 2019 @ 14:37:53

    Holding the warmth and texture of the mug right there with you, Sandy Sue! I was just messaging a friend that the sun is out for me now, and I’m trying to savor it, before the next inevitable dark cloud rolls in. Neither are permanent states. And support, in whatever form, makes them both better. Peace to you.

    Reply

  2. Live & Learn
    Oct 24, 2019 @ 17:38:51

    Awwww….here’s to you and Emmett whisked away into Wonderland.

    Reply

  3. Writer Lori
    Oct 25, 2019 @ 05:21:33

    Hoping the cycle back to the light is equally rapid, Sandy…💕

    Reply

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