Warp Speed

This week my rapid cycling revved into full swings of deep depression and giddy mania.  Each day the arc would take me to the opposite end of the spectrum, which is a new experience for me.  I don’t remember having alternate days of depression and full mania before, but my memory is unreliable.

I wrote to a friend that it felt like I was traveling, and I like that descriptor better than “cycling.”

“I’m traveling this week.”

Across the Space/Time Continuum, apparently.

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18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Elaine GREEN
    Jun 10, 2017 @ 12:06:29

    thanks for keeping me ‘up’ on how you are getting along, dearheart… sending love and ‘feeling’ your heart…

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Jun 10, 2017 @ 15:42:44

      I’ve only been to meditation with the Barbs once since February (last week). It seems off-balance without you. I hope you are deliriously happy in your new digs, and I hope I can come see them soon.

      Reply

  2. Leslie
    Jun 10, 2017 @ 17:12:11

    I’ve been doing the same quite a bit lately. The traveling is always a bit difficult and sending healing thoughts to you that it quiets down soon

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Jun 10, 2017 @ 20:25:22

      The same right back at you. Isn’t it interesting how some of us experience symptoms in a similar way while others are very different. It’s the nature of the Beast, I guess.

      Reply

      • Leslie
        Jun 11, 2017 @ 05:47:23

        I’ve spoken with my therapist at length about this. It’s one of the reasons that a “normie” would have to read many many accounts in order to discover what bipolar really is. There are just too many variations in how we experience our symptoms. Hoping you’re feeling better today dear. ❤

  3. TamrahJo
    Jun 10, 2017 @ 22:15:34

    As one not in the ‘immediate circle’ of those who KNOW, I offer that to my perspective, I’ve whined internally about how the world around me seems ever more bent at traveling through life at warp speed and I do not think the human brain or body has quite learned how to gracefully handle such lite-speed travel, just yet – 🙂 Offered not as disregard to your reality, but as observation – those not diagnosed or even aware there may be an imbalance – are feeling the ‘crunch’ of warp speed, too – I don’t know how to say right, but, I’ve often felt that many of the ‘diagnosis’ of such and such were not so much ‘problems to be solved’ but ‘scouts who report back where we, as a species, are getting it wrong in our built civilization’ – such as – if you haven’t shut down to experiencing the spectrum of all the life around you, in today’s world of bombardment, busy schedules, etc., it’s easy to get overwhelmed, if you leave yourself open to both the natural and mankind-made rhythms of ‘life’ – I may not experiences the breadth or fluctuations as you do in same perceived time frame, but I DO find hope and meaning in reading your posts and just wanted to say – “Hang in there!” 🙂 LUB

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Jun 11, 2017 @ 23:07:11

      I appreciate your perspective, TJ. I know most human beings are suffering from constant bombardment in our faster than light world. That we find ways to relate and empathize with each other, that we can find meaning in anything, is indeed hopeful.

      Reply

  4. Littlesundog
    Jun 11, 2017 @ 06:15:02

    I really enjoyed the video, and I thought the narration was remarkable from start to finish. Facial expression and tone differences were what I noticed most. I understand that this “warp speed” is not the normal experience. About how long and how often is a normal “travel” occurrence?

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Jun 11, 2017 @ 22:59:36

      To be diagnosed with the rapid cycling form of bipolar disorder, a person must have four episodes of either depression or mania in a year. That seems like horse and buggy to me.

      Reply

  5. pegoleg
    Jun 12, 2017 @ 10:54:27

    I like the description of “traveling.” I hope your travels slow down and take it easy on you, my dear.

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Jun 12, 2017 @ 11:56:41

      “Oh, my bags are packed, I’m ready to go…” Do you remember that song?

      Reply

      • pegoleg
        Jun 14, 2017 @ 09:59:36

        As soon as I read the first words, I started singing the rest of it in my mind. Does everybody do that?

      • Sandy Sue
        Jun 14, 2017 @ 13:28:21

        If my mom heard a fragment of a song lyric, she always warbled it out loud. We had lots of eye-rolling at the dinner table.

      • Sandy Sue
        Jun 14, 2017 @ 13:42:35

        If my mom heard a bit of lyric, she always warbled it out loud. Lots of eye-rolling in our house.

      • pegoleg
        Jun 15, 2017 @ 09:08:30

        I do that, too. I only sing in my head when I’m in public. When alone or with family, I let ‘er rip! But my version of this affliction is even worse, because it’s not just a lyric or tune that sets me off, but certain words said in a certain way that remind me of a song.

        My mother in law (God rest her soul) used to roll her eyes, affectionately I believe, and say, “There goes Peg again.” I usually went for show tunes when around her because I knew she liked those. With my kids, this little personality quirk was a great way to get them to straighten up. Let’s say they were still whining about buying ice cream at the grocery store after I said no. I’d throw my arms wide, right there in the frozen foods aisle, and wouldn’t even get to the end of the first “OAKKKKKKKK…” before they were shushing me and promising to behave. I’d usually cut if off – pity, though. The music from Oklahoma is some of my favorite.

      • Sandy Sue
        Jun 15, 2017 @ 10:12:35

        OMG, Peg! This made me guffaw. You ARE my mother! Though she didn’t go as far as doing an Ethel Merman in the Piggly Wiggly. Boy, I needed that laugh today, sister. I woke up furious and have been trying to keep my snark and snake eye in check. THANK YOU for being my best medicine today.

      • pegoleg
        Jun 16, 2017 @ 10:31:02

      • Sandy Sue
        Jun 16, 2017 @ 17:21:04

        Yes! Yes! And your mother smells of elderberries!

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