TMy computer is in the hospital, gasping its last, I fear. So I’ll try to create a post with my phone. Technology–heh, heh–ain’t it sumthin’?

I finished the outpatient program and am trying to figure out what’s next. How do I re-engage with the human race? Aside from that being psychologically required, why would I want to?

No more Vyvanse, for one thing. It may have curbed some of my binge eating disorder, but gave me headaches and aggravated an old TMJ  injury. Aggravated seems the operative word here. The general consensus is that it also upped my “All People Stink” core belief, which may have contributed to a crankier-assed attitude this past year.

Mad Maxine

All I know is that it took weeks in group therapy before I could sit through the whole session. It was either bolt or punch some sap in the mouth. Not violent by nature, this impulse scared me a little. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it also felt good. Which was scary in a whole other way.

Everyone in the group had issues with irritability (a common symptom of just about every mental illness), so we worked with it. A lot. So now I have a folder of “anger management” handouts in my Bipolar Badass arsenal.

Speaking of which, I designed myself a business card for my art show in December. Quite happy with the results.

Business Card 2016

Another “what next” was asking two of my friends who also suffer from depression and anxiety to form a Sanity Support group. We met last week, and the prognosis looks good for more get-togethers. This one stone could kill so many Crazy Birds for me that it’s hard to keep my WANTING in check. Patience, Grasshopper.

And since my computer is likely on its way to the Tech Morgue, I treated myself the day I discharged from the hospital with a 32 inch TV and a DVD player. No more incantations, Reiki treatments and uncomfortable yoga positions to get a disk to play in my wheezy computer. Now, all I need do is push a button. Pure Heaven.

New TV

The final “next” for now is working through the book Seeking Safety: A Treatment Manual for PTSD and Substance Abuse with my therapist. I’m sure the next “next” will rise from that.

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cheryl LaVille
    Nov 08, 2016 @ 11:31:04

    I had little responses as I read, which I would have written if this were a paper you turned in to me when I was teaching. I loved it.


  2. Elaine GREEN
    Nov 08, 2016 @ 12:34:42

    I really appreciate receiving your posts, dearheart… thank you. . with love and empathy…. laney



  3. LindaNoel
    Nov 08, 2016 @ 13:59:40

    SandySue ~ Your Business card is relevant — all the pertinent information, no filler — and attention-getting because of the composition you created with the components you included: color, typeface (Oh, yeah, now called Fonts), contact info and I especially love that you have under your name Writer (first) Artist (same billing of importance) and that elusive factor that we know when we experience it — Bipolar Badass all across from your unique photo-cardwork! And, (insert Twilight Zone “doo-doo-doo-doo” tune) it is Exactly what I am facing this very day — designing and then having my cards made Now! Flowers&Shells by LindaNoel / Flowers and Shells by Linda Noel, or?? etc… However, when I showed them to an upscale community organizer of monthly “First Fridays” and is going to Show/let me sell them in a lovely windowed&mirrored Pilates shop (what’s the word?) and I told her how I made them, saying It was a happy accident, the she said, “That would be a good name for the business.” Hmmmmm. My first two public “offerings”, Dec 1&2 and then at the local framing store in March! What do you think of the name, Sandy? Yes, I’m staying with Flowers & Shells but how to write it? Of course, you don’t have to comment. 🙂


  4. Littlesundog
    Nov 08, 2016 @ 14:03:54

    I love the new business cards! Attention getters for sure!


  5. Big Beak
    Nov 08, 2016 @ 14:09:35

    Does this mean that if your computer gasps its last bit of dust and ends cords up in a heap that your only computing device will be your phone? That would seem rather creatively limiting.


  6. Cate
    Nov 08, 2016 @ 17:05:59

    Love the business card, you bipolar badass!


  7. pegoleg
    Nov 09, 2016 @ 08:11:10

    Your cards look great! So does your TV. May I recommend binge-watching Pride & Prejudice (the Colin Firth version, natch) and Galaxy Quest?


  8. Raeyn
    Nov 09, 2016 @ 12:48:32

    That business card is definitely excellent. 😀


  9. Leslie
    Nov 20, 2016 @ 10:11:58

    Your card looks great Sandy!! And I adore Mad Maxine! I got your letter yesterday and I’m so grateful for the input. I can’t find your email address though, or I would have gotten back to you directly. I’m trying to limit my computer time because the election stuff has me in turmoil, so I haven’t been online much at all. I’m definitely going to try the things that you suggested. Again, thank you so much!


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