Ask Already

Bipolar Mind

ψ

I forget that neuro-normals don’t always know how to bring crazy into a conversation.  I also know other folks with mental illness aren’t always as open as I am (i.e. in-your-face TMI) and have real reasons to keep their condition private.  So I grok that asking me how I am might be intimidating.  Old taboos, stigma, Midwestern Nice—for whatever reason, some folks are more comfortable asking other people how I am.

My sister told me about one mutual friend who said, “I know I’m not supposed to ask, but…”

Whaaaaa?

I guess it’s possible, during one of my Swampy Brain days, that I might have sprayed venom like a velociraptor if a human being invaded my space (which varies depending on the amount of Swamp).  Or muttered an F-word-laced answer to a direct question.  Or maybe just burst into tears.  It’s possible.

Gosh, I hope not.  I want people to ask after me—especially on those Everglades days.  When my hold on Reality is shakiest, I need to know people haven’t written me off or (horrors!) forgotten about me.  Kindness makes me cry, but I hope that isn’t a deterrent.

Come to think of it, inquiring directly about my state of mind could get pretty messy what with all the spittle, and weepage, and colorful expletives.  It might take someone with a HAZMAT suit and no sense of propriety.

I can live with second-hand concern.  I’m still touched by it.  And I apologize if a squirting, prehistoric potty-mouth responded to anyone’s approach.  I hope they try again.  I’ll use my words next time.

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cheryl LaVille
    Aug 16, 2016 @ 06:20:26

    You aren’t as venomous as you might think. At least not to me. Honest response works for me. Thank you for that.

    Reply

  2. Karen
    Aug 16, 2016 @ 08:47:05

    Ha! This is perfectly wonderfully expressed! Hope to see you soon – moving the youngest back to school on Saturday…

    Reply

  3. Littlesundog
    Aug 16, 2016 @ 09:23:15

    Well that was a blast! Loved the videos and could relate to the venomous moments/days. You’re always so clever to find just the right attachments for your posts… I love the way your mind works!

    Sandy, your honesty is one of the things I love most about you. How many times have you been flat honest with me? I needed that the most. I don’t want someone putting on their kidskin gloves and giving me “poor Lori” pets. It’s always best just to come out and say it. I feel the same way about asking someone how they’re doing. I feel it’s better to say something than nothing at all. 🙂

    Reply

  4. Leslie
    Aug 16, 2016 @ 14:25:53

    I hate the silence. The only place I feel like I can say what I need to say is on my blog. I can’t wait until disability goes through so I can go public with my real name. Awesome post!

    Reply

  5. Bradley
    Aug 16, 2016 @ 15:11:13

    I like people asking how I’m doing. What I don’t like are those who think that just because I’m having a good day means that it’s gone. I’ve had people who have told me they’re happy I’m cured. lol. I wish it was that easy. It’s frustrating to get those reactions, but the positive is that it opens the door for me to do a little education.

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Aug 16, 2016 @ 15:18:56

      Yes. I’m grateful I can be an advocate this way, too, Bradley. Like the time someone asked me, “So, are you going to get over this bipolar thing now?” Sometimes I want a PowerPoint presentation in my purse.

      Reply

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