I'm Not OkayThere’s nothing new to say about rapid cycling mixed states.  I’ve railed against them and given in, pulled out every tool in my toolbox and given up, called for help and stayed silent, pushed against the maggoty words they whisper in my ear and believed every word.  My response to the turmoil in my head has been as varied as my illness.

But if anything is new, it must be the time it takes me to accept, breathe, and allow whatever my head and body chemistry need to do.  And I’ve gathered a larger support network around me, so that when I call for help (usually a few texts back and forth) I don’t have to burden the same few friends over and over.  Spread the Horror, that’s my emergency motto.

Thank you, all my Go-To People, who get those scary/sad/frantic texts and respond with such kindness and love.  You make all the difference.

Thank you for riding shot-gun on my Adventure.


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Catherine Cheng, MD
    Aug 06, 2016 @ 08:39:37



  2. Bev
    Aug 06, 2016 @ 14:33:13

    Thank you for this. I’ve been shutting people out for so long I only have a couple of friends who I turn to. I feel like a burden. I really need to let other people in.


  3. depatridge
    Aug 06, 2016 @ 15:18:53

    Reblogged this on Matthews' Blog and commented:
    Quite interesting piece I thought.


  4. Littlesundog
    Aug 06, 2016 @ 18:41:58

    You are that person for me… thank you for responding when I wig out. You throw me that life ring, so I can breathe and let the panic go. 🙂


  5. LindaNoel
    Aug 07, 2016 @ 15:36:00

    I think perhaps I’m one who “gets to have” your card expressions and your writing in this blogging — when I even just crack open a little bit of the SandySue door. Your swirling/calming/energizing/colorful/witty/subversive/intelligence(this seems like a trite word here, doesn’t say All I feel/think about your Intelligence) flows thru the open crack, washing and warming my cold basement where I am — either because I’ve flung my hopeless self down there, or “just” getting my toes “refreshed” in that cold air. xoxox LindaNoel {Plus+++ I got to hug you and hear your voice!}


  6. pegoleg
    Aug 09, 2016 @ 12:54:43

    I’m thinking of you, Sandy, and beaming over good and happy thoughts.


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