In the continuing effort to make my apartment a spiritual and creative Haven, I’m concentrating on my bedroom this summer.  I fixed up and painted an old dresser when I first moved in.  Now that I have my Dad’s nice chest of drawers, that pretty piece of crap got carted to Goodwill.  I also pruned a ton of esoteric reading from my Past Life, so another falling-apart bookcase will soon go as well.  And the old magazine rack/end tables I used as night stands are also on their way out.

Journals Purged

Five Years of Journals

I tossed my spiral notebook journals yesterday.  I had thought I would use some of the pages as art background, but I realized there was too much pain, misery and confusion captured there.  Why would I use something so disheartening in an activity that brings me such joy?

Journaling is a process for me, a way to See the lies my brain tells me and to release the emotional steam in my physical pressure cooker.  I don’t need to keep the details of my day—I won’t remember them.  Electroshock created a tidy black hole where my memory used to be.  Eventually, everything slides over the Event Horizon.  I was given the gift of living in the moment.

So when I read about my past, I can’t connect to the words.  At best, a fuzzy snippet, a dream-like shadow, might dislodge from the Void.  It’s enough to remind me of what I’ve lost.  And, again, why would I do that to myself?

So, into the dumpster they went.

I’m pulling everything off my bedroom walls, cleaning and patching holes.  Soon, I’ll paint, then shampoo the carpet.  I found a sweet cabinet and a set of night stands at Ikea that will boost the feminine, dreamy quality I’m creating.

Crucible posterOf course, my Romance Wall will be reconfigured as will all my Pretend Boyfriends.

I knew I needed a peaceful, calming image across from the bed, and found the perfect piece when my friend, Robert, posted some of his new photographs.  A large print of Blue Astor is forthcoming.


I’m looking forward to making my bedroom as clean, efficient and lovely as the rest of my apartment.  In the meantime, I have all these books to get rid of.  Below is the list.  If you’re interested in any of them, leave your address in a comment (it won’t go public), and I’ll send the books you want.

Oops! Too Late!  Taken to the Library on 7/21.  But you can still see what you missed.

  1. A Treasury of the World’s Best Loved Poems (no editor listed. Avenel Books, a division of Crown)
  2. Almaas, A.H., Diamond Heart, Book One
  3. Armstrong, Karen, A History of God
  4. Bennett, J.G., Deeper Man
  5. Broch, Janice & Veronica MacLer, Seasonal Dance: How to Celebrate the Pagan Year
  6. Cameron, Julia, The Vein of Gold: A Journey to Your Creative Heart
  7. Walking in This World: The Practical Art of Creativity
  8. Cooper, J.C., The Aquarian Dictionary of Festivals
  9. Dacyczyn, Amy, The Tightwad Gazette: Promoting Thrift as a Viable Alternative Lifestyle
  10. Dahlke, Rudiger, Mandalas of the World: A Meditating and Painting Guide
  11. Damasio, Antonio, The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness
  12. Dickinson, Emily, Final Harvest
  13. Estes, Clarissa Pinkola, Women Who Run With the Wolves
  14. Farrar, Janet and Stewart, A Witches Bible Complete
  15. Ferguson, Diana, The Magickal Year: A Pagan Perspective on the Natural World
  16. Ganim, Barbara, Art and Healing: Using Expressive Art to Heal your Body, Mind, and Spirit
  17. Gearhart, Sally and Susan Rennie, A Feminist Tarot
  18. George, David L., Ed., The Family Book of Best Loved Poems
  19. Knight, Gareth, The Secret Tradition in Arthurian Legend
  20. Kramer, Gregory, Insight Dialogue
  21. Linden, Eugene, The Parrot’s Lament: And Other True Tales of Animal Intrigue, Intelligence and Ingenuity
  22. Moore, Thomas, Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship
  23. Murdock, Maureen, The Heroine’s Journey
  24. Pearsall, Paul, The Heart’s Code
  25. Pearson, Carol, Awakening the Heroes Within
  26. Phelps, Kimberly Lilith, McMillian, Teresa and With, Barbara Lee, Diaries of a Psychic Sorority: Talking with the Angels
  27. Rilke, Rainer Maria, Selected Poems
  28. Rinpoche, Sogyal, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
  29. Robbins, Rossell Hope, Encyclopedia of Witchcraft and Demons
  30. Ruiz, Don Miguel, The Mastery of Love
  31. —The Voice of Knowledge
  32. Silverstein, Shel, The Giving Tree
  33. Stewart, R.J., Celtic Myths, Celtic Legends
  34. Tart, Charles, Waking Up
  35. —Living the Mindful Life
  36. Thich Nhat Hanh, Teachings on Love
  37. —Present Moment Wonderful Moment
  38. —Peace is Every Step
  39. Vaughn, Frances, The Inward Arc

15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LindaNoel
    Jul 15, 2016 @ 19:26:39

    I’m, uh, right behind you, also clearing out. Looking at a long flat heavy box (without opening it) that I KNOW contains the agony of an emotionally-messed up time/relationship from 1990! and which I now Understand. So I don’t feel any under-consciousness anxiety about throwing it out withOUT hearing me sob into a cassette or peaking at the written stuff. I will keep a photo or two to remind ME of the better alive aspects of myself that thrived beyond this that is evident in the photos. Thank you for sharing AND I love the art!


  2. Nancy Plagman
    Jul 15, 2016 @ 21:28:12

    Good for you, happy cleaning and clearing the old! I would love to have the book The Essential Rumi. You could bring it some time you are in Des Moines.


  3. Deep Silbaugh
    Jul 16, 2016 @ 06:48:58

    Sandy, sounds like you will be busy. You are such an inspiration. I would be interested in The Selfish Gene and The Prophet. I can pick them up sometime. Stay well and take great care.


  4. Leslie
    Jul 16, 2016 @ 06:49:00

    I just found two of my old journals and they are exactly like yours. I’m going to write down the things I need to know (like meds I’ve been on) and pitch them, too. You have inspired me!

    I love the Haven piece at the top!


    • Sandy Sue
      Jul 16, 2016 @ 08:10:02

      Once I figured out the ACT of journaling is the most important part, the rest was easier. Thanks, Leslie.


      • LindaNoel
        Jul 16, 2016 @ 16:03:27

        Action. That is the main factor I’m paying attention to. The Act of whatever is the transforming thing, not having the physical process stuck in a closet forever to remind me what I “learned”. 🙂

    • Alice
      Jul 16, 2016 @ 13:42:03

      Wow — even though I never reread them,I still can’t imagine getting rid of the old journals (22 years worth and counting), but it sure would clear up a lot of space! Good for both of you, getting clear about what you need and what you DON’T — and then getting to the clearing. 🙂


      • Sandy Sue
        Jul 16, 2016 @ 15:02:31

        I have a history of “purging” when I get manic, so I sat on all this for a few days. My ex was a hoarder, so… well… yeah.

  5. Val Boyko
    Jul 16, 2016 @ 11:24:16

    I love that you are transforming your external environment to align with your internal transformation. Love those blue asters too Sandy!


  6. marielafoliette
    Jul 16, 2016 @ 18:11:11

    Hello, i would live to have 11,16 and 26, If they are still available.

    Good for you for the purge!! I have a fer boxes of old letters that I still don’t throw away, but your blog motivates me!!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog Stats

  • 183,863 hits
%d bloggers like this: