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This is hilarious, really.
WordPress says I have 1000 followers now.
Which translates to about 60 people who might actually read my stuff once in a while.
The rest are folks who want me to come vacation in Bali, or help me make money (so kind), or want to improve my writing (excuse me?). There are the followers who don’t speak English (at least they don’t blog in English), but I guess they might like to look at the pictures. Then, there are the followers whose blogs use English words in ways the English language never envisioned. Bless those random generators! Or the really mysterious followers who don’t have a blog, or a profile, or can’t find their blog or their profile, or simply don’t exist at all. These must be my Virtual Followers.
There are the real head-scratchers—followers who write only sports reviews or post gangsta photography, the right-wing Republicans and rabid religious, the mechanics and race car drivers (I guess they could be manic…). I was particularly fond of the East African Gossip blog follower. There’s nothing like inspiring folks who post misogynistic girl-hate. And how is it that the fashionistas keep following me? Do I exude an air of chic cool through my fingertips? Awesome!
I love that writers and poets, folks with mental illness, folks in and out of my generation have found me. I love that other artists like my stuff enough to want to see more. I love that real people still keep finding me and sticking around to chat. I love that some of them have become my friends.
Still, wouldn’t it be nice if WordPress gave us a button to trim out the followers who aren’t really followers? But maybe I’m being hasty. All those folks who want to grow my social media standing might just be my target audience.
SandySue Altered
A Mind Divided 
Nov 21, 2014 @ 18:59:44
After 3 years, 4 Freshly Pressed posts, I just crossed the 3,000 mark. I got a little excited, until I started going through the list of subscribers. Sigh. Just get back to writing, Michelle…
Still, Sandy, I figure there’s a solid percentage of awesome people who found our blogs. After all, we found each other!
Nov 21, 2014 @ 19:06:08
Yeah, see? That makes it all worthwhile. I get a kick out of those spammers.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 19:08:32
I would like to kick those spammers.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 19:10:32
HeeHee.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 19:01:19
I don’t have have a blog. I’m just a little ole artist with BP who likes to read your blog. You had me at “badass training” a couple of years ago! Congrats on 1000 : )
Nov 21, 2014 @ 19:05:29
I know you’re one of the real people! And thanks for sticking with me.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 19:16:21
Congratulations! So what if some of them are fake. Your words are worth reading, and your art is awesome.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 21:58:24
Thanks, Kitt. I know it really doesn’t matter. Statistics is just smoke and mirrors.
Nov 22, 2014 @ 14:37:52
Still, it’s an accomplishment. You are reaching people with your message. Positive message. Loving message. Thank you for that.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 19:38:46
I’m one of the real people… and I am glad we are friends.I love your writing… and you inspire me. I don’t know what to think of the statistics and numbers. The statistics that tickle me the most are the Search Engine Terms and the Top Posts. My most read post is “Following The Animal Trail… The Scoop on Poop”! Apparently people are very interested in animal droppings. And then there are the farm girl inquiries, which are mostly derogatory. It’s good for a laugh most of the time.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 21:57:33
I agree, Lori. All that stuff is so weird. My top posts are usually ones where people have searched for pictures I’ve used. The whole thing is a mystery.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 19:41:57
Dunno. The average response / comment rate on any blog is about 5%. Everytime I get really frustrated and want to quit, a stack of lurkers comes out who encourage me to keep on — so I say, yay for the lurkers, whoever they are, and the spammers aren’t really hurting me.
Congrats on 1000.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 21:56:07
No, they don’t hurt at all do they. Just kind of like ballast in a boat.
Nov 21, 2014 @ 21:27:37
Well, hell, yeah — you should be able to Delete Stalkers, I mean, Not Real Followers. I consider You a nourishing FHB (female human being) who I would miss sorely if I were deleted !
Nov 21, 2014 @ 21:53:48
How could I possible nix someone as real as you, Linda?
Nov 22, 2014 @ 05:36:28
I000 followers is great! And I’ve thought about similar topics that you raise. Bottom line: we/I follow you because you are authentic, funny, have a way with words, and often times you are so inspiring when you drive through challenges. For me, I’m glad you are here. Period.
Nov 22, 2014 @ 07:44:25
Thanks, David. This is the real deal. This moment.
Nov 22, 2014 @ 05:37:37
This makes me feel better about my 106 followers –
Nov 22, 2014 @ 07:43:10
Were you worrying about them? Fear not! Some are real!
Nov 23, 2014 @ 07:21:25
no – I think they are all real – and they read it…I meet people on the beach and they say…”Oh You’re Secondhand Surfer, I read your blog.”
Nov 23, 2014 @ 18:49:54
Holy crap! That’s amazing!
Nov 22, 2014 @ 05:44:31
Me? colour me in as a reader … please (?)
Nov 22, 2014 @ 07:42:33
Always, my friend.
Nov 22, 2014 @ 05:45:22
Not sure where you are going with that ballast in a boat, the pedant in me says the vessel is unwieldy without the weight 😉
Nov 22, 2014 @ 07:42:15
Ha! Maybe they’re more like empty calories!
Nov 22, 2014 @ 07:15:56
Congrats! Too bad we didn’t have reliable filter for those “fake followers” But then I’d only have about 100 left on my own blog. And as much as I get a kick out of stats and seeing my numbers go up, my son who is 12 started his own “blog” on Mario Kart and already has over 600 followers. Kinda puts things in perspective….
Nov 22, 2014 @ 07:41:03
I remember the post you did about this a while back. I thought, if my number ever gets to 1000, I’ll do that kind of post, too. You’re always an inspiration.
Nov 22, 2014 @ 08:43:29
Just a note to let you know that I read every single one of your posts (have from the very beginning) and I actually do speak English. I also happen to be a Republican, although not very right wing… I hope you won’t hold that against me when WordPress finally gives you a button so you can cull the herd. I’m a writer and a poet and I’m a friend who appreciates what you do here… and I have sent your words to others who have become followers as well. Just stickin’ with what works.
Nov 22, 2014 @ 12:13:23
I love you more than chocolate.
Nov 22, 2014 @ 08:45:01
P.S. I don’t comment much anymore, because I do most of my mail on my new phone and it won’t let me comment. (In truth, I can’t figure out how to do it… but I blame the phone.:)
Nov 22, 2014 @ 12:14:02
Well, that’s just not right. I do miss your voice here, so I hope you can figure that darn thing out.
Nov 22, 2014 @ 10:31:32
Well congratulations, either way! A thousand followers is a great number. A thousand is ten hundreds, which in turn is ten tens. A well rounded, perfectly even number I’d say. I read your posts because I love the way you write, and your posts are my inspiration to post. 🙂 Happy posting!
Nov 22, 2014 @ 12:15:08
You’re darn sweet, O.B. Circles and spirals of posts and inspirations.
Nov 26, 2014 @ 12:29:47
Sandy Sue, you are so funny, lol. It’s a mystery to me, too, how so many people ever found me and follow me. Blogs seem to have a way of taking on a life of their own. But I, like so many others I’m sure…LOVE your writing and your authenticity. You are real and you are wonderful, and that’s why I’m here. 🙂
Nov 26, 2014 @ 17:01:20
Bless your heart, Carol. Thank you.
Dec 11, 2014 @ 17:10:26
I feel kind of ridiculous that I liked this post and then clicked follow. I really am intrigued by your blog, though. I’ve gone through a few of your posts so far and have really enjoyed them. I’m am looking forward to reading more, I promise!
Dec 11, 2014 @ 22:54:59
Thanks so much for following your ridiculous impulse. When I lived in Minnesota, one of my neighbor’s daughters was named Britta. I’ve always thought it was such a lovely name. It’s nice to have it come back around to me.