Scuttled

handmade greeting card, collage artI spoke too soon the other day.  Not up from the deep just yet.  A common mistake.  This rapid cycling is tricksy, let’s a person break the surface for a bit, enough to gulp air, then the waters close over the top before a soul can recognize the drag back into the black.  An odd feeling this time of being altered, alien, apart.  Of moving in a different time zone than the people around me.  Of speaking a different dialect.  Again, that sly bipolar brain working its funky alchemy.

Another day of doing what I can, when I can.  Moving through the water with goggles and the sound of my breath bubbling underneath—yes.  Packing up chai and journal to sit next to the big library windows—probably.  Acting like a normal consumer by checking Staples and Wal-Mart off my list—maybe.  It all depends on the Sturm und Drang playing in the background—the bipolar soundtrack can hurt the ears sometimes.  And a body pillaged by fractured sleep and rusty nails in the joints.

But the bed is made, the litter boxes clean, the dishes washed.  It could be a start.  It could be enough.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Michelle at The Green Study
    Apr 22, 2013 @ 07:53:09

    I’ve read your last few posts and so admire your openness about the ups and downs. I recognize the ride. My own is milder but I know it can be demoralizing when you think you’re out of the weeds and then right back in it. Sounds like you are holding your own – it is enough.

    Reply

  2. Littlesundog
    Apr 22, 2013 @ 16:38:09

    I love this card – really drawn to the background for some reason.. I seem to be crazy about birds these days. Where DO you come up with the ideas for these impressive cards? You are a clever artist Sandy… I love your work!

    Hang in there… keep gulping air!

    Reply

  3. bipolaronfire
    Apr 22, 2013 @ 21:21:52

    GOD you’re an eloquent writer for being in turmoil, I say BRAVO!! And I just can’t wait to hear more, whatever it may be. You are brave.

    Reply

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