I spoke too soon the other day. Not up from the deep just yet. A common mistake. This rapid cycling is tricksy, let’s a person break the surface for a bit, enough to gulp air, then the waters close over the top before a soul can recognize the drag back into the black. An odd feeling this time of being altered, alien, apart. Of moving in a different time zone than the people around me. Of speaking a different dialect. Again, that sly bipolar brain working its funky alchemy.
Another day of doing what I can, when I can. Moving through the water with goggles and the sound of my breath bubbling underneath—yes. Packing up chai and journal to sit next to the big library windows—probably. Acting like a normal consumer by checking Staples and Wal-Mart off my list—maybe. It all depends on the Sturm und Drang playing in the background—the bipolar soundtrack can hurt the ears sometimes. And a body pillaged by fractured sleep and rusty nails in the joints.
But the bed is made, the litter boxes clean, the dishes washed. It could be a start. It could be enough.
SandySue Altered
Apr 22, 2013 @ 07:53:09
I’ve read your last few posts and so admire your openness about the ups and downs. I recognize the ride. My own is milder but I know it can be demoralizing when you think you’re out of the weeds and then right back in it. Sounds like you are holding your own – it is enough.
Apr 22, 2013 @ 18:01:32
thanks, michelle
Apr 22, 2013 @ 16:38:09
I love this card – really drawn to the background for some reason.. I seem to be crazy about birds these days. Where DO you come up with the ideas for these impressive cards? You are a clever artist Sandy… I love your work!
Hang in there… keep gulping air!
Apr 22, 2013 @ 21:21:52
GOD you’re an eloquent writer for being in turmoil, I say BRAVO!! And I just can’t wait to hear more, whatever it may be. You are brave.
Apr 22, 2013 @ 23:01:37
geez louise, thanks. it feels like bibbity coming out of my mouth (fingers), so I’m relieved it makes sense.