Dangers of the Blogging Life

handmade greeting card, Star Trek, William Shatner, collage artI haven’t posted a whole lot lately.  Mostly because I’m a little afraid to.  I found out that someone close to me misunderstood a piece I wrote and, instead of getting clarification, filled in the holes with her own imagination.  We all do this.  We all make assumptions, make up stories when there’s not enough information, then act as if those stories are real.  But, this time those acts had ramifications for me in the Real World.

This isn’t the first time a blog post effected my real life.  I lost an old friend because of a post.  She had been backing out of my life for a while anyway, but that post was the last straw.  The telling part of my friend’s reaction is that the post wasn’t about her or our relationship.  It was about how much I liked Dr. Phil’s book on weight loss.

We never know how our words will be received.

For the last couple of weeks, I wondered if I could keep blogging at all.  From the beginning, it’s been my mission to be honest about my bipolar disorder and how I manage it, which included all the crazy, bleak and sear parts.  I knew some of those peeks into my brain were uncomfortable, but I assumed anyone with a question would leave a comment or contact me through email.  (There I go, making assumptions…)  I didn’t know how to proceed, knowing that I could never predict when something I wrote might be misconstrued, or how that might cause chaos in my life.  I was afraid.

I was also really depressed these past two weeks.  If you tend to visit this blog, you might have noticed.  The depressive side of my illness feeds fear and prefers me to hide under the covers.

But, today, I made a decision to keep writing.  I checked with my therapist (imagining worst-case scenarios), who assured me I can’t be committed because of anything I write here.  That’s really all I care about.  I can’t stop anyone from bringing their own fears and demons to the computer screen.  I can’t keep folks from making up stories about what they might read here.  I can’t do anything but check my integrity and tell as much of the truth as I can see.

Because that’s my job.  It’s the only job I have, and I intend to keep on with it.  And if there are consequences—good or bad—I’ll deal with them.

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25 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. docrob50
    Feb 21, 2013 @ 15:15:36

    yeah well you better damn well keep writing cuz your good at it and the things you share need to be shared and known by those who do not have bi polar or major depressive issues……….and besides who else would re-pin so many of my pins??

    and could explain a bit more what you meant by “a different camera?”

    Reply

  2. Cat
    Feb 21, 2013 @ 15:27:48

    YOU KEEP WRITING!! It gives me insight into how you’re feeling. And you can’t control anyone else……nor what they think! Don’t let your illness rob not ONE MORE part of you!!

    Reply

  3. vanitydiaries12
    Feb 21, 2013 @ 15:42:50

    Hey I know the feeling things I blog about have gotten me so much backlash I’ve lost friends who misinterpret and assume and there’s probably an “I hate her blog” group around somewhere but I keep doing it for me it’s a bit like therapy only I can curse as much as I like.

    Reply

  4. Kim
    Feb 21, 2013 @ 16:35:08

    Sandy, I haven’t managed to visit your blog too often lately, but I’m so glad I saw this post. I’m sorry for what happened with this person, but I think you’ve made the right decision to keep blogging. Blogging IS a scary thing, as you say. We leave ourselves open to judgment by friends, family, and total strangers who may criticize our opinions or points of view. But I believe you empower yourself by continuing to write your truth and put it out in the world for all to read.

    What you write here, although it’s certainly helpful to you, also helps lots of other people. Even people who may not see your posts until YEARS from now can learn from them. So please don’t let this incident stop you from this important work…we all need what you’re sharing, whether we know it now or not. ~Kim

    Reply

  5. Rev Marshall Wright
    Feb 21, 2013 @ 20:18:29

    What others think or say about you is all about them . . . . . period. You are simply the karmic mirror provided for them in the moment.

    Sandy, I can only ask for you to “be” . . . that is way more than enough for me, Don’t take this personally, but I LIVE ON YOUR TREE OF LIFE. Own yourSelf as the center of the universe; that the tap root of you is a creation of the fractal of the hologram that we would be incomplete without.

    HO TO THE FLOW . . . . for only it knows.

    Love is . . . .

    Whistlng Night Eagle

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Feb 22, 2013 @ 02:52:55

      WNE, yes and yes. What they think or say is none of my business. But when they act out of the stories they’ve created, making decisions that change my life, then I’m involved. I feel like my work is to pay attention to my reaction, my fears, my ego. Then, maybe, I can find my place back in the hologram.
      Loving you.

      Reply

  6. @CreativityProf
    Feb 21, 2013 @ 20:27:02

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Keep in mind that there are many, many people out there who have simliar experiences and gain support and advice.

    Reply

  7. Fiddle gal
    Feb 21, 2013 @ 20:28:14

    I have missed you, wondered what had happened. Please keep writing. Your telling me about you, helps me to understand me. Hope that makes sense, it is a selfish need of mine. We all probably get different things from your sharing and can never really know what you mean, I use it as part of my own self examination. Hope that makes sense………the main thing. Please keep sharing. Nancy

    Reply

  8. Carl Milner
    Feb 22, 2013 @ 03:19:56

    So glad you’ve battled through these misconstrued aspersions Sandy and are forging your own way forward through this… You’re words would sadly missed if you didn’t

    …My boss once said to me when we’d had a difficult and very challenging time…
    “Onwards and Upwards”

    Carl

    Reply

  9. Kitty
    Feb 22, 2013 @ 09:21:06

    That happens all the time! As a matter of fact, it’s what I love about reading… I get to go where I want/need to go in the story. It’s called the Transactional Theory of Literary Work* and it’s all about the idea that a text and reader interact to create meaning. It’s a beautiful thing!

    I use this definition in my book when I talk about the Bible… making the point that the Bible is a living document that interacts with the reader right where they are in life vs. the idea that there is any possible way to “take the Bible literally.”

    And it doesn’t just happen when we read… It happens any time we are in relationship. So you don’t need to stop writing! Unless we all need to stop writing, talking, interacting, etc. THIS is what relationship is all about. How else are we going to push each other’s buttons and help ourselves and others grow!!!

    We cannot be responsible for how we are received – only for what we send. When we send ourselves out with authenticity, integrity, compassion… we let it go and the other person receives it wherever and how ever they are in their lives. And the times we don’t send out integrity, the Universe sends shit back to us to help us grow too! I think it’s a pretty good plan.

    *Louise M. Rosenblatt The Reader, the Text, the Poem

    Reply

  10. patricemj
    Feb 22, 2013 @ 10:14:04

    Your post reminded me that we really do need to thank people who speak the truth, their own truth, from the heart. It is a very difficult thing to do, made all the more difficult by the fact that even in our honest place others will sometimes take offense.

    Reply

  11. Evolution of X
    Feb 23, 2013 @ 20:57:21

    It’s a good job and you’re good at it. (A writer must write.) And I would miss you.

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Feb 24, 2013 @ 04:44:11

      Thanks, Tori. I have a close line stretched across my ceiling where I hang affirmations and inspirational stuff. My favorite is “Writers Write.”

      Reply

  12. ManicMuses
    Feb 24, 2013 @ 06:31:33

    Oh, Sandy – I am so happy you’ve decided to keep on writing!

    There’s always risk when people put themselves out there, but when you have Bipolar it adds so much more to the equation. Hell, my husband even says, “I need to read your blog so I can find out how my own wife is doing today.”

    Smack.

    I love your wisdom and insights and fine imagination. Don’t you dare stop writing. Or I will email you daily and bully you into replying just so I can get my Sandy Fix. 😉

    Reply

  13. spinningblackbirds
    Feb 24, 2013 @ 23:22:56

    So sorry this happened, but so glad you kept writing and thankyou for sharing – it sucks, but you’re not alone, and I think the crazymakers would like us to believe they have power over us. Power that is reduced if you have a wider opinion base.

    Reply

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