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Cycling again, now, and I watch.
When the despair drags like exhaustion and terror splashes peptic,
When anger explodes with no warning siren,
And old thoughts tumble,
I watch.
Vomiting false emotion and false knowledge,
I feel their hooks,
Their allure.
I follow, asleep and nightmaring, then I see.
Not some aberration, some boogie,
They are all me;
Frightened recluse,
Weeping singer,
Lonely, Loved,
Poor, Gifted,
Failure, Teacher.
I slide the long spectrum of me.
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SandySue Altered
Jan 10, 2013 @ 20:41:01
Hang tight my friend and hold on tight to positive thoughts……you ARE loved gifted and a mentor/teacher to many!! I’m HERE!
Cat Campbell Currier
Jan 10, 2013 @ 22:33:51
I can feel you there.
Jan 10, 2013 @ 20:48:37
I wish you well. If only. . .
Jan 10, 2013 @ 22:33:16
I know you do, Sissy.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 04:47:28
Buckle in. And let me know if you’d like to chat. I’m here for you, my friend.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 04:50:15
Thanks, Vivien.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 09:00:24
Damn. I’m sorry this cycling isn’t a pleasant ride out on the old Schwinn. Hang in there, Sandy.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 09:08:17
I’m feeling more recumbent today.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 10:18:37
I feel so far away and helpless… I think of that lovely day I met you and found a little piece of my heart. I hope you “feel the love” from so many miles away, my dear friend.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 10:35:40
I do, my friend. Not to worry. This is just part of the process. Difficult, challenging, dynamic–but me.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 10:37:00
What a beautiful description of such a difficult experience. I suppose everyone is all those things at some point… Is it that we just happen to be MORE of all those things? Too much of all those things? Ah, to be mediocre. I have reminders around me that say, “Dare to be Remarkable!” What a great idea, expect when I’m remarkably down… The poster child for Depression in suburban America.
I like this… “Buckle in.” Sometimes that’s all we can do.
You are LOVEDlovedLOVEDlovedLOVEDloved! We all need to remember that we are not alone.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 16:10:50
This reminds me of the Bette Davis movie where she says, “Fasten your seat belts, we’re in for a bumpy night.”
Jan 11, 2013 @ 16:16:46
Hang on, friend. You’ll overcome this.
Jan 11, 2013 @ 19:26:36
I’m coming to understand that *this* is as real as *that* (if that makes any sense).
Jan 14, 2013 @ 06:28:40
Nice writing! Our personal spectrums can be confusing as hell. I don’t care for my own dynamic (or would at least like some control over the “slide” – nice line that.) I’ve been trying to come to terms with it for years. Sounds like you’re much further along the path. And how wonderful that you create such art in the process.
Jan 15, 2013 @ 17:53:08
some days I think I’ve almost got it, but then it slides out of frame. Stalking the elusive Knowing.