I Slide the Long Spectrum

handmade greeting cards, collage art

Cycling again, now, and I watch.

When the despair drags like exhaustion and terror splashes peptic,

When anger explodes with no warning siren,

And old thoughts tumble,

I watch.

Vomiting false emotion and false knowledge,

I feel their hooks,

Their allure.

I follow, asleep and nightmaring, then I see.

Not some aberration, some boogie,

They are all me;

Frightened recluse,

Weeping singer,

Lonely, Loved,

Poor, Gifted,

Failure, Teacher.

I slide the long spectrum of me.

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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cat Campbell Currier
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 20:41:01

    Hang tight my friend and hold on tight to positive thoughts……you ARE loved gifted and a mentor/teacher to many!! I’m HERE!

    Cat Campbell Currier

    Reply

  2. Sheryl Mae
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 20:48:37

    I wish you well. If only. . .

    Reply

  3. ManicMuses
    Jan 11, 2013 @ 04:47:28

    Buckle in. And let me know if you’d like to chat. I’m here for you, my friend.

    Reply

  4. pegoleg
    Jan 11, 2013 @ 09:00:24

    Damn. I’m sorry this cycling isn’t a pleasant ride out on the old Schwinn. Hang in there, Sandy.

    Reply

  5. littlesundog
    Jan 11, 2013 @ 10:18:37

    I feel so far away and helpless… I think of that lovely day I met you and found a little piece of my heart. I hope you “feel the love” from so many miles away, my dear friend.

    Reply

  6. Kitty
    Jan 11, 2013 @ 10:37:00

    What a beautiful description of such a difficult experience. I suppose everyone is all those things at some point… Is it that we just happen to be MORE of all those things? Too much of all those things? Ah, to be mediocre. I have reminders around me that say, “Dare to be Remarkable!” What a great idea, expect when I’m remarkably down… The poster child for Depression in suburban America.

    I like this… “Buckle in.” Sometimes that’s all we can do.

    You are LOVEDlovedLOVEDlovedLOVEDloved! We all need to remember that we are not alone.

    Reply

  7. The Mental Chronicles
    Jan 11, 2013 @ 16:16:46

    Hang on, friend. You’ll overcome this.

    Reply

  8. Evolution of X
    Jan 14, 2013 @ 06:28:40

    Nice writing! Our personal spectrums can be confusing as hell. I don’t care for my own dynamic (or would at least like some control over the “slide” – nice line that.) I’ve been trying to come to terms with it for years. Sounds like you’re much further along the path. And how wonderful that you create such art in the process.

    Reply

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