The PFPT Christmas Message

From my British muse across The Pond. How she sees into my life is eerie.

Pretty Feet, Pop Toe

Each year on Christmas Day, HRH Queen Liz (we’re on informal name terms after I got invited round to her’s for a spot of tea and cake back in 2011), manages to get out of her Simpsons onesie and put aside her tin of Quality Street for just long enough to deliver a speech about families, togetherness and sage & onion stuffing (maybe not the last one) to her loyal minions. Not being one for telling jokes (that’s her husband’s area of expertise), she bores people into an afternoon snooze that can only be broken by the sofa-trembling trumpet of turkey-farts.

Traditional it may well be, but it’s also one of the most harrowingly tedious memories of my childhood (coupled with the fact we were denied our Christmas presents until she’d finished wittering on at 15:00 in the afternoon) and so I’m not particularly fond of it and believe that…

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Linda Schierman
    Dec 22, 2012 @ 17:07:39

    You can find a bluesy I Hate the Holidays! at on Venus Envy’s I’ll Be A Homo for Xmas cult cd. Yeah, I wrote it for the Alice B Theatre (in Seattle)Holiday Survival Game Show in 1987 and then Venus Envy (Lisa Koch, Linda Severt, Laura Love and myself, Linda Schierman) put it on our wonderful Xmas Novelty album. Raise those blue blue xmas moods up up and away !Linda Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2012 11:29:11 +0000 To:


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