Before and After

Sweet Relief.

I hit bottom yesterday, actually felt the jolt as my body slapped the Pit and bounced.  That little bit of momentum, the ricochet off Hell’s linoleum floor, felt like a heavenly watershed.

Before: I shambled, zombie-like, unable to rub two thoughts together without pain, unable to follow a conversation, unable to even hold my head up from the table at my TOPS meeting (The last time I remember laying my head on a table was in Miss Camp’s fourth grade class when we were required to “rest” after lunch).  I drowsy-drove to Mom’s with my laundry, but couldn’t figure out how to use the washer.  I rested in the basement until my brain could decipher the word “detergent.”  Then I slept on Mom’s bed until my sister came out and spoke in a foreign language I almost understood.

After: I actually opened a can of Manwich and microwaved it as spaghetti sauce.  I operated my mom’s DVD player and plugged in “Australia.”  I answered her in complete sentences when she asked me questions.  And as I drove home with my clean and folded clothes, I was awake.  Maybe not alert yet, but definitely headed in that direction.

After a weird night of what I call Transition Sleep, I feel almost myself.  The momentum is continuing.  I missed my normal Y class by oversleeping, but I’ll hit another one in a minute here.  I’ve got a plan and a direction for today, which is more than I’ve had in weeks (including the frantic scramble to set up my Etsy site and donation button).  Things are looking up, which is the only view from the bottom.

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. littlesundog
    Sep 28, 2012 @ 09:21:37

    I love that last line, “Things are looking up, which is the only view from the bottom.” I’ve been there myself the past few weeks so that truth seemed a bit hilarious to me. It was a reminder that yes, eventually we see that up is the only way out! Bravo to you for finding the gumption to make a plan and finding some motivation! It feels pretty wonderful to gravitate anywhere UP when you’ve been kerplunk at the bottom!


  2. Cat
    Sep 28, 2012 @ 10:08:08

    Hey you were MISSED this morning. I’m here for you anytime! Keep the positive thoughts flowing and stick to your guns!! Have a good weekend.


  3. Sheryl Mae
    Sep 28, 2012 @ 15:27:58

    Maybe it was all the babbling Mom and I did around you in that foreign language that prompted your brain to wake up. Whatever, I’m so happy to see this post.


  4. Dee Ready
    Sep 29, 2012 @ 10:02:09

    Dear Sandy Sue, was relieving news to hear. I’m happy for you. Peace.


    • Sandy Sue
      Sep 29, 2012 @ 13:53:20

      Some cycles are worse or easier than others. This one happened to be a bear. It would be nice to have a little breather before the next one, but, of course, I can’t count on that. So breathing here and now is important. Thanks, Dee.


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