The Path Always Followed

I have a confession.  It’s not easy for me to admit this.  But, it’s time to face facts.

Bipolar Disorder has turned me into a Coot.

I never thought it would happen.  I expected to be easy-going and spontaneous to the end of my days.  Fun-loving.  Ready for adventure.  Alas, genetics had other plans.

RAGBRAI, Marshalltown

Two days of disruption in my normal routine have left me cranky.  On Wednesday, our town welcomed thousands of bicyclists in The Register’s Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI).  For forty years, bikers from all over the country have come to Iowa during the last full week in July to ride from one side of the state to the other.  Approximately 460 miles in six days.  The host towns along the route offer food, entertainment, camp sites or shelter.  It’s a big deal.  A week-long party of endurance.

RAGBRAI, Marshalltown, IowaMarshalltown has been in an uproar all summer preparing.  And as soon as the big day dawned, I got the heck out of Dodge.  I had no interest in watching the sweaty masses peddle past my apartment all day long in 105 degree heat.  I didn’t want to get stuck behind them in my truck, or try to find a parking space at the Y between their support RVs and campers, or elbow my way through the throngs in my coffee shop.  I grumped my way over to Ames where civilized people sat in air conditioning instead of lying prostrate on the pavement.

K9 Inspection, BedbugsThen, yesterday, our apartment complex had its quarterly bedbug inspection by the K9 unit.  This time, the manager gave us proper notice, so I had a day to clean, then properly pack up my cats and all their paraphernalia.  We spent the day at my mom’s house.  The boys explored vast, basement hide-holes while I did laundry.  We also napped.  Because, that’s what coots do.

Agitation, Bipolar Disorder, RoutineI’m well aware that my cootishness is a direct result of routine disruption, and that burns my *ss even more.  I don’t want to be ruled by sameness, or thrown into an episode by an unscheduled activity.  I don’t want to be that fragile or that flaky.  I want to go with the flow and embrace whatever comes along (imagine a hippie-girl running through a meadow here—daisies in her hair, mellow without pharmaceuticals).

Well, too bad.  At least I had warning about both events.  That kept the fragile breakage to a minimum.  To be honest, fragile is not how I’d describe myself today.  Belligerent would be more accurate—as in a Clint Eastwood Make my Day sort of way.  So, don’t cross me, or I’ll beat you with a bicycle pump and flick bedbugs at your head.

19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. docrob50
    Jul 27, 2012 @ 12:59:30

    you know there are days when i just want to be a hippie girl with daisy’s in my hair running barefoot through a garden too! Braless of course. Free. Liberated…..maybe a little stoned too.


  2. karen
    Jul 27, 2012 @ 13:02:15

    aw, i love ya, coot!


  3. Sheryl Mae
    Jul 27, 2012 @ 16:47:36

    Believe it or not I think this post could have been written by our brother. Ouch!


  4. ManicMuses
    Jul 27, 2012 @ 17:13:32

    I don’t think that hippie chick can be as mellow as she is without toking on a few 🙂 Besides, I don’t think you’re a coot at all. I think you’re smart. (Hey, I haven’t lived this close to where the Olympics were being held since i was a kid, but I’m staying the hell out of London until October.) I get it. Let them pedal while you nap. Bliss!


  5. bravingbipolar
    Jul 27, 2012 @ 19:25:16

    Me too! Me too!


  6. Kathryn McCullough
    Jul 27, 2012 @ 19:48:22

    This is the story of my life!!!!!!!!! Thank God, I’m not the only one.


  7. pegoleg
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 09:18:57

    News Flash: I think Coot-ery has more to do with aging than with mental illness. I know just what you mean both about change being bothersome AND with how much being bothered bothers me.

    We’re still Flower Children of the spirit!


  8. littlesundog
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 21:38:04

    I’m a coot too… but oddly, I fit that hippie chick image as well. Oh, we’re so complex… I still think the description of Cancer the Crab is fitting for me. We’re supposed to be a looney lot!


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