“I Got a Bad Feeling About This”

This week is all about getting ready to be stuck in my apartment and in pain for the next four to six weeks.

First, there’s all the doctorly stuff to do—pre-op inspections; donations of blood, urine and other quantifiable substances; a Come To Jesus meeting with the bean counters.  Today, my mom and I go see the surgeon for his laundry list of what to expect and what to do.  Since Mom will be paying my bills, I figured she has every right to get the details and ask questions.  My mom always has a phalanx of questions and takes no prisoners.

Then, there’s all the stocking up to do (minimal-effort groceries, clean laundry, cat supplies, enough DVDs to last the siege), chores to attend to (haircut, dentist visit, returning borrowed books), soliciting of post-op assistance (chauffeurs, litter box attendants, char women), and a farewell tour of friends and family.  I had supper with my friend, Jeff, in Des Moines last night and felt like I was waving at him from the bow of the Titanic.

To say I’m apprehensive about this surgery is like saying our Congress has a little trouble finding consensus.  Doesn’t matter how many hyster-less women tell me the surgery “isn’t that bad” or how much I tell myself I’ll be fine.  I just keep hearing Han Solo’s voice in my head.

So, I’ll keep busy, futzing with my Things to Do list and trying not to trip over the phrase I won’t be able to do that for awhile to the exclusion of all else. Breathing is good, too.  And looking at the full moon.  And breathing.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ManicMuses
    Mar 08, 2012 @ 06:57:32

    I’m already sending healing thoughts your way! May you dream of Han Solo every night and bounce back super-quick. Hugs!

    Reply

  2. Kathryn McCullough
    Mar 08, 2012 @ 08:14:25

    I’m sure I would feel the same way, Sandy. But things are bound to go well. Like ManicMuses, I’m sending healing thoughts.
    (By the way, thank God your mother is footing the bill. What a relief that must be.)
    Hugs,
    Kathy

    Reply

    • Sandy Sue
      Mar 08, 2012 @ 09:17:22

      Yes and yes about Mom paying my medical bills. I have to thank Dad, too, since it’s money from his life insurance. Still taking care of me from beyond.

      Reply

  3. pegoleg
    Mar 08, 2012 @ 10:15:41

    Just focus on how cute Han Solo was in those movies, and you’ll be ok.

    I’ve never had major surgery so I don’t have any words of wisdom, except I hope everything goes fine for you.

    Reply

  4. Lily
    Mar 08, 2012 @ 11:49:43

    Yes, Breathing is good!

    I got a cool saying in my News Feed on Facebook the other day… “Worrying is praying for what you don’t want.” Doesn’t it sound nice to say, “Oh, just don’t worry.” But OMG! I put this little saying to the test all day long, trying not to worry about a friend of mine who is really struggling with depression. (Imagine that.) I caught myself worrying about a million times! Every time, I would remind myself that I was praying for what I didn’t want and that it is counter-productive to do that and I’d say a little prayer. And then I’d catch myself worrying again, about 2 seconds later, and do the whole process again… and again… and again… I did finally experience some relief by the end of the day and especially by the next morning, but it was really hard. We already know, “That which we resist, persists” so we can’t just say, “I will not worry.” So saying the little prayer, the positive affirming part of the deal, was what helped me the most. To re-frame it the way I choose it to be, instead of repeating over-and-over what I don’t want.

    I’m with ya, Sweetie. Let me know if there is anything I can do… other than saying constant little prayers. :~)

    Reply

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