Twilight Zone

Twilight used to be such a great descriptor.  Now it just connotes sparkly vampires.  Sigh.  Time and context march on.  Anyhoo…

Yesterday was one of those days that took a turn off True and ended up in Rod Serling’s backyard.  I kept trying to accomplish something—anything—but the fog rolled in and my brain rolled with it.  I thought I was tired, so I tried to take a nap, only to feel the agitation energy buzzing in my torso and limbs.  So I got up and tried to focus on pulling material together to start making Halloween and Christmas cards.  Pretty soon, my head lolled on my neck.  Okay, so back to bed.

Back and forth, back and forth, all day I zombie-walked from bed to work table to laundromat to pool, trying to find my way out of No Man’s Land.  No wonder zombies eat brains—any brain has to be better than the dead one in my head.

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Richard Olson
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 11:31:49

    Are healing energies of my variety sent your way welcome?


  2. Kitty
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 11:48:11

    I love that you included the link to the music! Isn’t that a blast from our past?! Here’s to much less Twilight in your Zone today!


  3. Kathryn McCullough
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 15:41:21

    Goodness, I can relate! The whiplash is gona kill us, I swear, Sandy!
    Hope today is better, my friend!


  4. Sherry
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 17:41:18

    I’m sending some too. Hope they find your address. Sis


  5. strugglingwithbipolar
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 19:06:22

    Sending some positive healing vibes your way. Honestly, I think that mixed episodes suck and your description reminds me of what I experience. I hate that feeling of being tired but revved at the same time. I really hope you feel better soon!



  6. pegoleg
    Sep 02, 2011 @ 09:57:24

    I always thought I’d like to visit Rod Serling’s backyard, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Did you leave a trail of breadcrumbs so you can find your way back out?


  7. Kimberly
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 23:14:47

    I am newly diagnosed bipolar II.
    I was doing ok for a while then was hit with crippling agitation that would send me punching walls and throwing furniture. The tension inside was wound so tight it would explode…then in between it all…deep sadness where I’d find myself crying in grocery stores for no reason.
    I’ve slept maybe 8 hours in 2 to 3 days
    Yet I have this unexplained energy. Like I want to bust out of my skin.
    It is so hard to describe all of this but it is pure hell


    • Sandy Sue
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 08:32:44

      Yes, it is so hard. Part of what helps me is to just observe the feelings and agitation. Knowing there’s a part of me that is *not that* can help me gain perspective. It’s the illness making the tension, the illness creating the sadness. If I can let that happen without believing it’s me, then there’s some comfort. It also helps to know the thoughts flying through my brain are generated by the illness and not to be taken seriously. When I’m in an episode, I can’t trust myself to think the truth about things. Again, when thoughts come, even if they seem reasonable (which they usually are not), I chose not to act on them or pay them much attention. They will pass, like the sadness and the agitation.
      You have lots of friends here. Come back again.


  8. Grainne
    Mar 26, 2012 @ 09:58:48

    This post was wonderful. I’m not glad to know you experience days like this too, but WOW can I ever relate. I also had a laugh at your twilight reference…which I needed this morning. xx


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