“Danger, Will Robinson!”

Hmm.  I believe I’m a little manic.

The spring board back from twelve days of depression overshot the mark.  I didn’t sleep much this weekend with all the blog ideas exploding like poppies in my fertile field.  Getting up at 2:00AM this morning to write them out of my head was the tell.

So, the practice is to Breathe and Watch.  Watch for urges to spend money willy nilly.  Watch for urges to eat everything in the apartment.  Watch for any accompanying anxiety.  Watch my speed when I drive.  Lay low on caffeine.

I’m ambivalent about hypomania.  On one hand, it can be like trying to ride a wild horse.  And aspects of it certainly ruined parts of my life.  But on the other hand—oh, the creative ideas, the energy, the crystal clear thinking!  Hypomania, without anxiety and compulsions, is what most folks with bipolar disorder yearn for.  It’s the cherry on top of a dark, dark sundae.  The depression is absolutely gone and in its place is this hum of joy.  Of course, that can turn into grandiosity and a frantic kind of gleefulness.  It’s all a matter of degree.

Today I will Watch and enjoy the ride while it lasts.

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