In the continuing effort to make my apartment a spiritual and creative Haven, I’m concentrating on my bedroom this summer. I fixed up and painted an old dresser when I first moved in. Now that I have my Dad’s nice chest of drawers, that pretty piece of crap got carted to Goodwill. I also pruned a ton of esoteric reading from my Past Life, so another falling-apart bookcase will soon go as well. And the old magazine rack/end tables I used as night stands are also on their way out.
I tossed my spiral notebook journals yesterday. I had thought I would use some of the pages as art background, but I realized there was too much pain, misery and confusion captured there. Why would I use something so disheartening in an activity that brings me such joy?
Journaling is a process for me, a way to See the lies my brain tells me and to release the emotional steam in my physical pressure cooker. I don’t need to keep the details of my day—I won’t remember them. Electroshock created a tidy black hole where my memory used to be. Eventually, everything slides over the Event Horizon. I was given the gift of living in the moment.
So when I read about my past, I can’t connect to the words. At best, a fuzzy snippet, a dream-like shadow, might dislodge from the Void. It’s enough to remind me of what I’ve lost. And, again, why would I do that to myself?
So, into the dumpster they went.
I’m pulling everything off my bedroom walls, cleaning and patching holes. Soon, I’ll paint, then shampoo the carpet. I found a sweet cabinet and a set of night stands at Ikea that will boost the feminine, dreamy quality I’m creating.
I knew I needed a peaceful, calming image across from the bed, and found the perfect piece when my friend, Robert, posted some of his new photographs. A large print of Blue Astor is forthcoming.
I’m looking forward to making my bedroom as clean, efficient and lovely as the rest of my apartment. In the meantime, I have all these books to get rid of. Below is the list. If you’re interested in any of them, leave your address in a comment (it won’t go public), and I’ll send the books you want.
Oops! Too Late! Taken to the Library on 7/21. But you can still see what you missed.
- A Treasury of the World’s Best Loved Poems (no editor listed. Avenel Books, a division of Crown)
- Almaas, A.H., Diamond Heart, Book One
- Armstrong, Karen, A History of God
- Bennett, J.G., Deeper Man
- Broch, Janice & Veronica MacLer, Seasonal Dance: How to Celebrate the Pagan Year
- Cameron, Julia, The Vein of Gold: A Journey to Your Creative Heart
- —Walking in This World: The Practical Art of Creativity
- Cooper, J.C., The Aquarian Dictionary of Festivals
- Dacyczyn, Amy, The Tightwad Gazette: Promoting Thrift as a Viable Alternative Lifestyle
- Dahlke, Rudiger, Mandalas of the World: A Meditating and Painting Guide
- Damasio, Antonio, The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness
- Dickinson, Emily, Final Harvest
- Estes, Clarissa Pinkola, Women Who Run With the Wolves
- Farrar, Janet and Stewart, A Witches Bible Complete
- Ferguson, Diana, The Magickal Year: A Pagan Perspective on the Natural World
- Ganim, Barbara, Art and Healing: Using Expressive Art to Heal your Body, Mind, and Spirit
- Gearhart, Sally and Susan Rennie, A Feminist Tarot
- George, David L., Ed., The Family Book of Best Loved Poems
- Knight, Gareth, The Secret Tradition in Arthurian Legend
- Kramer, Gregory, Insight Dialogue
- Linden, Eugene, The Parrot’s Lament: And Other True Tales of Animal Intrigue, Intelligence and Ingenuity
- Moore, Thomas, Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship
- Murdock, Maureen, The Heroine’s Journey
- Pearsall, Paul, The Heart’s Code
- Pearson, Carol, Awakening the Heroes Within
- Phelps, Kimberly Lilith, McMillian, Teresa and With, Barbara Lee, Diaries of a Psychic Sorority: Talking with the Angels
- Rilke, Rainer Maria, Selected Poems
- Rinpoche, Sogyal, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
- Robbins, Rossell Hope, Encyclopedia of Witchcraft and Demons
- Ruiz, Don Miguel, The Mastery of Love
- —The Voice of Knowledge
- Silverstein, Shel, The Giving Tree
- Stewart, R.J., Celtic Myths, Celtic Legends
- Tart, Charles, Waking Up
- —Living the Mindful Life
- Thich Nhat Hanh, Teachings on Love
- —Present Moment Wonderful Moment
- —Peace is Every Step
- Vaughn, Frances, The Inward Arc